The three partners of The Canoe Group sit around a small conference table talking to four partners of another firm. We're discussing whether/how to partner on a project. Both firms have indicated interest in a longer-term alliance. We're working through documents and questions; we've both done our pre-work. We're near the end of the discussion, things are “lined up” as we imagined before sitting down.
A young Canoe staffer comes to Dave, who asks if we can take a quick break. They talk, she puts down some print materials, and Michael invites her to join us for the final stretch of discussion. She pulls up a chair and leans in, excited to learn.
The woman-man seated to my right (one of those dream things where the sex of the person was indistinct) turns to me: “That's a difference between our two companies. We choreograph our meetings.” Then, with some veiled superiority she tells me, “It changes the meeting dynamics that we worked so carefully to create. Even the interruption makes me uncomfortable.”
What happened next is a little less clear. But the meeting comes to a halt. I say: “That's interesting to me. We used to work that way, too. Sounds like this is a difference in what we believe about how the world works. We've found that the most interesting things often flow from the unexpected.”
S/he looks at me with disdain. The other partners are watching closely (and trying to hide their concern.) S/he answers, “I have been concerned about this since we started these conversations, but was willing to go along to see if things could be worked out.”
I said, “It sounds like we may not be on exactly the page. Let's see what we can learn.” I turn to our young associate and ask, “Why did we consider the possibility of working on this project with them?
I was proud of her answer, “Because we believe collaboration works and are always looking for others who want to work and learn with us.”
I looked back to our potential partner, the woman-man to my right. I say again, “She would be an important member of the team if we go forward. Knowing what you know about The Canoe Group, do you want to partner?”
She looks me straight in the eye and says, “I didn't think it was a good idea to begin with, and I don't think so now.”
Dreams are tools that help me sort out my world. I was lucky that I could start writing about this one before my day got started.
Here's what I learned from this dream: I recognize that the two firms “dodged a bullet.” I remember that honesty comes easier when we aren't all following a script – and that all too often our agendas become “scripts”. I think about how often unexpected interruptions can “save the day” and reveal what's really going on.
I also remember something I learned a long time ago: great partnerships are built between people who share the same values, attitudes and practices of creative collaboration. Agendas are great, structure is important, but when you're growing something new you sort of have to make it up together.
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